Well, well, well, look at the Biden administration and their merry band of virtue-signaling clowns suddenly playing the “champions of democracy” card over Venezuela’s implosion. Paraguay and Guatemala are calling for an “orderly democratic transition” and a halt to military action as Nicolas Maduro’s socialist dumpster fire finally burns out (Newsroom Panama). Meanwhile, the same American leftists who spent years drooling over Maduro’s “worker’s paradise” are now pretending they’ve always hated him. Spare me the crocodile tears, you hypocritical hacks. We see you, Kamala Harris, doing your best to look concerned while your party’s socialist darlings like Bernie Sanders and AOC have spent a decade praising Venezuela as the gold standard of “equity”—until the breadlines got too long even for their Instagram filters.

Let’s talk specifics, shall we? Back in 2015, Bernie couldn’t shut up about how Venezuela was a shining example of “democratic socialism” working wonders—ignoring the fact that Maduro was rigging elections harder than a carnival game (National Review). Fast forward to 2023, and now he’s mumbling about “root causes” while dodging questions faster than Biden dodges coherent sentences. And don’t even get me started on AOC, who’s been eerily quiet after years of fangirling over Maduro’s policies—policies that turned a once-wealthy nation into a starvation simulator. Hey, Alexandria, where’s that fiery tweetstorm now? Too busy sipping lattes in D.C. to care about the Venezuelan refugees your ideology helped create? Rules for thee, but not for me, right? You champagne socialists are allergic to accountability, and it shows.

Here’s the kicker: while the Biden admin tut-tuts Maduro’s downfall and mouths platitudes about “restoring democracy” (Michael McFaul, Substack), they’re pushing the same centralized, government-overreach nonsense here at home. Inflation through the roof, energy policies that make us beg OPEC for scraps, and a border crisis that looks like a Venezuelan refugee camp—sound familiar? If Maduro’s a dictator, then what’s Biden with his 87,000 new IRS agents ready to audit your lemonade stand? Pot, meet kettle. The left’s sudden concern for Venezuela isn’t principle; it’s PR. They’re just hoping you forget their love letters to socialism before the next election. Nice try, comrades, but we’ve got receipts—and they’re uglier than Pelosi’s Botox budget.

Takeaway:
The Biden crew’s fake outrage over Maduro’s collapse is the most transparent flip-flop since John Kerry’s windsurfing days, proving once again that liberals only hate socialism when it stops trending. Shut your suck hole, Kamala Harris, and stop pretending you’re the Mother Teresa of democracy while your party’s still got Che Guevara posters in the basement.

Sources Note:
This piece references real reporting from Newsroom Panama, National Review, and Michael McFaul’s Substack, because the truth about leftist hypocrisy is funnier—and more damning—than fiction.

Disclaimer:
This is satire, folks. No threats, just cold, hard laughs at the expense of liberal double standards. If you’re offended, good—that’s the point.

Published: 2026-01-04 | This is satirical content.