Stitt Stumbles on Trump’s Border Brilliance

Oklahoma’s governor plays squishy on immigration...shocker!

Buckle up, patriots, because Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt just decided to play armchair quarterback on President Trump’s immigration crackdown, whining on CNN’s “State of the Union” about the “endgame” of securing our borders. Yes, Kevin, the endgame is pretty darn simple: keep America from turning into a lawless free-for-all where cartels and criminals waltz across the border like it’s a red carpet at the Oscars. But hey, why let logic get in the way of a good virtue signal to Dana Bash and her merry band of leftist lapdogs?

Stitt had the audacity to call Biden’s immigration policies “disastrous”...which, duh, they are, with over 7.2 million illegal crossings since 2021, per CBP data...but then he clutched his pearls over a Border Patrol agent shooting an American citizen in Minneapolis. Newsflash, Kev: accidents happen when you’re fighting a war against open-border chaos that Biden and his woke warriors unleashed. Maybe if you spent less time playing “concerned moderate” on CNN and more time backing Trump’s no-nonsense policies, we wouldn’t have agents in impossible situations to begin with. Stop with the hand-wringing and start with the spine-stiffening, pal.

And let’s not pretend Stitt’s sudden “what’s the plan?” routine isn’t just a pathetic bid for bipartisan brownie points. This is the same guy who’s been a Trump cheerleader when it suits him, but now he’s playing the fence-sitter like he’s auditioning for a role in “RINOs: The Musical.” If you’re gonna question the endgame, Kevin, maybe ask Biden why his administration’s “plan” is to let everyone and their coyote cousin flood in while Kamala Harris cackles about “root causes” from her ivory tower. Trump’s endgame is America First; yours seems to be “don’t upset the CNN crowd.” Pathetic.

So, while Stitt dithers and dawdles, Trump’s out there fighting for a border that doesn’t look like a turnstile at Disneyland. Here’s a hot tip, Governor: the endgame is safety, sovereignty, and sanity...three things Biden wouldn’t recognize if they bit him on his befuddled behind. Stop playing footsie with the liberal media and get on board with the MAGA train before you’re left at the station looking like the wishy-washy wonder boy of Oklahoma. Shut your suck hole, Kevin Stitt, and let the adults handle the border battle!

Disclaimer: This is satire, folks. We’re just here to roast the hypocrisy, not start a riot.

Takeaway: Stitt’s border waffling proves even RINOs can’t resist CNN’s siren song.

Sources:
- CNN, “State of the Union” interview with Gov. Kevin Stitt, aired [insert date if available or approximate based on context].
- U.S. Customs and Border Protection, Southwest Border Migration Statistics, updated as of 2023.

Published: 2026-01-25 | This is satirical content.